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Milton Works, Mule Street, Bolton, UK, BL2 2AR
Tel: (0)1204 386723      Fax: (0)1204 363706
Email info@ajax.co.uk


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The Parable of the Fallen Arches

In the beginning there were solids, liquids and gasses. They flowed freely, for they were simple and in small lots. Even unto the land of the Pharaohs, where the fields of the Nile brought forth grain in abundance and there were many stores, the people knew not problems of flow, for there were slaves to fetch and carry and to serve the needs of their masters.

But as the masses of solids grew in volume, and their form multiplied without number, great misfortunes fell upon the people, for solids flow was not smooth, neither was it reliable, for the curse of the arches was amongst them. And there was much weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth, for the ways of the masses surpassed all understanding.

Within their midst arose Priests with diverse teachings. With curses and incantations the Hittites and the Hammerits proclaimed that the containers be smote mighty blows. And so they were beaten, even unto destruction, but the evils stayed and grew in magnitude. Leaders of the Shaker Tribe spoke "Let Vibrators be amongst them". And so it came to pass that the masses were shook without mercy, but some solids stood firm for all time, for they were bound by mighty forces. The Numo elders engaged the air with abundance, but the grains ran amok with the curse of Fluidity, and there were great floods through the land. The Flow aid merchants prospered mightily upon the ignorance of the people, the blind lead the blind through the troughs of complexity and the people wept, for they knew not what to do.

And it came to pass that a Prophet by the name of Jenike arose from the east, and moved to the new world of the west, He prayed for mans understanding to grow and withdrew to the barren wilderness of the salt plains, even to the desert town of Utah, to study the scriptures of the wise men. Through years of toil and sacrifice amid sackcloth and ashes, he explored the mysteries of the soils, wherein he saw the light and a great understanding fell upon him, for he KNEW the law, and it was good.

"Ye must measure the strength of the soil and learn how it slides" he taught, "then the great tables shall show thy needs, the bulk will yield and the masses flow, Yea even unto the last grain". He called his Scribe, who's name was Johanson, and they brought forth two mighty tomes in the form of Holy Scrolls, who's numbers be 108 and 123.

Disciples spread his word throughout the land, to the last corners of the earth, and even to the land under the earth where strange tribes that dangle corks from their headgear abide. The fame of the Prophet Jenike grew as his works knew no failures. Miracles came to pass, as when the measures were not even and the skills of the people low, the sacred tablets of stone gave wondrous results, and there was great rejoicing throughout the land by the Mass Flow sect, for theirs is the way.

Verily, I say unto you, that insofar as you follow in the teaching of Jenike, your yield will be good, your masses flow and the curse of the arches no longer fall amongst you, even unto the final resting place of that great Mass Flow Hopper in the sky.

Lyn Bates



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